Refined edges are the death of me!! HELP

[Chelsey]

Every time I try to refine the edges on anything tedious, it will NOT do what I want! Today in particular I am trying to blur the background on a photo and I would like to keep the stray hairs in focus on the child but this is what happens every time! What am I doing wrong?

[Damien Symonds]

It's not you.  Refine Edge is a terrible function.  Abandon it.

You can't blur that way.  This is how it's done.

[Chelsey]

Thank you SO much! I will try it that way instead!