Damien Symonds

Great! Then that's easy.

Of course. It's a white dress, isn't it?

No, here we are again. You have to do the raw processing first.

Go for it.

Is this anywhere close?

Well yes, there's one here that would give you the rough idea. It's really simple. You'll open one photo, then choose your Crop Tool and set it to 900x900 pixels at 300ppi in the Options Bar. Then you'd crop your photo square. Then you'd make your new action (called "Brian's Polaroid" or whatever) and start recording. You only need to record two steps and they're both Canvas Size steps: First, open Canvas size and leave the little square in the middle of the grid of nine squares. Make sure the Background Extension Colour is white, and enter 1000 pixels for both the height and width, then press OK. Then open Canvas Size again, and this time put the little square at the top of the 9-square grid. Change the height to 1500px and press OK again. Stop recording. Voila! That's your action. Once you've done that, let me know and we'll discuss how to actually use it for all your prints.

No, it's ok, let's call it a neat 900x900, that'll work. So, let's make this action! Have you made actions before?

That's nowhere near square. Aren't polaroid images supposed to be square?

With the gentle application of Photo Filter. I find "Cooling LBB" to be excellent in these cases. Remember to apply it with a very light touch - no greater than 5% opacity brush - and gently build it up.

Saturday morning here

Great! So what's the exact size of the black square?

I'm working on your image, but it'll be in between loads of washing, and vacuuming and stuff (my Mum is coming to stay!) so please be patient with me, it might be a little while before I have something to show you.

It's more likely Lens Blur, but it's very badly done. You can see the halo either side of the trees in the foreground. Blurring MUST begin with the cloning step, it's so important: http://www.damiensymonds.net/2010/06/blurring-background-false-dof.html

Now design your polaroid. Put a black square on it where you want the photo to go.

Great. And did you download the PSD and take a look at the layers?

Yes ...

Ok, that's your starting point. Once we know exactly how you like it, we can automate it. But it starts with knowing the exact size of the square image, and therefore the exact size of the space around it.

Oh yes, the second one is excellent!!!!!!!! Now, before we go any further, have you browsed the existing files?

This is vitally important. You must NEVER look at skintone when editing raw files. Until you accept this, you can never grow as an editor.

Just keep warming it until the jacket in the photo matches the jacket in your hand. It's easy, don't worry.

Keep going. It's nowhere near grey yet.

Gosh no, you don't need new prints!!!!! The prints you already have are fine. This will be a problem. Millers and Mpix are shit. For the actual act of calibration, you should be in as dim light as possible. So yes, definitely close the blinds for that. For the actual editing, bright light is good, as long as it's not hitting you directly. Maybe you could show me a photo of your room?

Did you get the coat?

Terrific! Get the jacket out of the washing basket, to see how inaccurate your white balance is. Or, if the child isn't asleep, ask her to come in to your office so you can check if her hair really is purple

No, come on, the white balance is appalling. Is this your own child?