For the record, this is incredibly difficult. Don't assume that you suck just because you can't make it look amazing. I can't either.
As it happens, I think you've done really well. I just think there should be more on his leg right up under the bend in her knee.
To be honest, I don't think you'll find it satisfactory. I never have - it's hard to read.
It's better to have all-black text with a white stroke around it; or all-white text with a black stroke around it.
There are two stages to this. First, in raw, you can partially reduce it by doing this.
Once you've done that to the best that Lightroom can manage, post a 100% crop for me and we'll talk about the Photoshop steps.
Oh!!! I can't see it in your video, but I bet you have the bloody "Auto Select Layer" checkbox checked in the Options Bar for your Move Tool!
Yep, I just glimpsed it. That's the problem.